Let the story of “suffering” drop away
If you’re anything like me, your computer might be blanketed with sticky notes that feature little blurbs of insight you have picked up while reading or listening to this or that. Right now, I have 15 of them. One in particular falls off regularly, and I keep picking it up off my desk and pressing it back onto my monitor. It just fell off again for the umpteenth time, and when I went to put it back, I laughed when I realized what I was doing. The note reads “No more suffering. Just stop it.” It hit me in the moment that my story of suffering wanted to be dropped and I kept picking it up and putting it back in front of me.
I’ve suffered for as long as I can remember, especially in my work. Are you surprised by that admission? For me, my work is one of the biggest mirrors I have into my relationship with my own inner being. My work clearly reflects any place where I have disconnected from my true self. To me, this is the definition of suffering.
Suffering is what we experience when we resist the allowing of all of who we are.
Among other things, I see work as a container through which we connect with our own energy and use it to birth new ideas and experiences into the world. If I am blocked in any part of that process, be it receiving or creating, I suffer. One of the more obvious ways this has played out in practical terms in my work is through money. Money is a great indicator of how much energy we are flowing. Actually, it is more accurate to say that it is an indicator of how much energy we are “allowing” to flow. Because there is no limitation to energy (or money). We are only limited by the stories we tell ourselves about what we have “permission” to receive and why.
Some of the limiting stories around work I’ve clung onto over the years include having to prove my worthiness, questioning my own value, and fear of being seen. More recently though, these stories seem kind of faded, like the ghost of a past relationship. It’s like I can remember being in the relationship, but the memories are faint, and the feelings that surround it no longer hold any emotional charge.
If you look closely, there’s a common thread in all of those old stories – in them I am externally referenced. In each story, my sense of self is determined by others. This means I was giving my power away to those outside of myself. It also means I saw work as a way to “get” energy and I sought that energy from others. Ugh. That’s true suffering.
When we hold onto those lackful stories, our work will continually present us with opportunities to reclaim those dissociated aspects of ourselves and reintegrate them into our being.
I also see work as a pathway for returning to the truth of who we are. A return to our truth also means the recognition that our energy is sourced from within. In our wholeness, we have access to all the energy we need including health, wealth, relationships, creativity, joy, and an eagerness for life itself.
In the twelve years I’ve been doing this work, I kept picking up those old stories. It’s finally time to let them drop away for good. Now I want to live the newer, truer story of myself and my work that has since emerged.
I determine my worth
As someone who creates offerings to share with others, there is a component of having to “prove” worthiness in terms of marketing and selling my services to others. I have to demonstrate that what I am offering is worthy of others investing their resources, such as their time or money. However, my personal worth is not determined by whether people “like” my messages or buy my services. My worth is self-determined. When I am in relationship with my true self, my worth is beyond question and then I am free to express my worthiness through my work instead of having to prove it.
My value is inherent
There is an undercurrent of “Am I enough?” that flows through almost every person’s experience of their work. But this bane persists because we have been trained to believe that we must “give” value in order to “be” valuable. The message is we are not inherently valuable. This leads us to acquire skills and accreditations, or make widgets, so that we believe we have something to give. However, by our mere existence we are already offering tremendous value. Our presence is valuable. Our warmth is valuable. Our beingness is enough. Our enoughness is something that cannot be given in the conventional sense, but others can still receive it.
It’s safe for me to be who I am
My definition of inspired work is that which is the truest expression of who we are. So it is logical that if work is where we exist in the world without hiding behind any façade, then it might be vulnerable to put ourselves out there fully. I struggled with this for a long time, especially when those who were close to me questioned the “validity” of my work. I didn’t yet stand in full ownership of myself or my work and so I held back. But when I realized who I really am and that I have the direct line to my own source of energy, then I knew it was safe for me to just be me.
Replace the story of suffering with a new one
From here, I can barely recall why I ever bought into suffering to begin with. Somehow I forgot that all energy is available to me and that there is no need to suffer. This doesn’t mean that every experience is always bliss. It does mean that even when things are difficult, I don’t have to suffer. I can stay true to who I am and allow my energy to serve me in any situation. There is such sweet joy in knowing this.
If you have a row of sticky notes in front of you, are there any that need to be dropped? Do any of them represent a story you’ve since outgrown? Is there a new blurb you can now write?
I’ve since replaced that old sticky note of “suffering” with a new one.
Enjoy the sweetness of life.
It makes me teary-eyed to write it. It represents the crossing of a threshold I have longed to step over for so very long. It means I have given myself permission to fully receive and to use that energy to enjoy a good life. A truly sweet life. Gosh, my work was already inspired, I can’t wait to see what happens now.